I can't believe I'm going to admit this...
I was blessed to be raised mostly in a rural area, with a GOOD school system which actually taught me about the history of our Republic, and the design of our Constitution and system of Government.
I turned 18 in 1983, and was COMPLETELY apolitical. All that politics-stuff was for old-folks - I just wanted to get high, make my music, and be left alone.
As went about my freewheeling life, it seemed as if I was being jacked by "pigs" about every other day - and ~90% of the time it was "out of the car... assume the position - hands on the hood..."
I still roll my eyes when I hear certain folks whining about "driving while black" as I've experienced "driving while long-haired" too many times to count. Eventually I realized that it wasn't just the long hair, it was a number of other things that - COMBINED with the long hair - screamed "I'M A POTHEAD - PLEASE SCREW WITH ME!!" to every cop that got close enough to lay eyes on me. Likewise, the majority of "DWB" cases are really "driving while looking/acting like a dealer/'gangsta'/thug/etc..." but I digress...
At the time, I was the EPITOME of the young, stupid leftard. Ronnie Raygun was a doddering old fool, and perhaps the worst thing to happen to this country since Joe McCarthy. One sweet little gal (of whom I was VERY enamored) collected old books, and I can't express how disgusted I was by reading "The Report of the House Subcommittee on Un-American Activities" which named known and suspected communists...
"They RUINED those people's lives and careers!" I thought - and to my young, stupid self that seemed like the EPITOME of injustice! After all, "from each according to his ability, to each according to his need" seems like the way things SHOULD be!
G*D I was STUPID!-But I still didn't care enough to pay attention to politics....
When Slick Willie ran for POTUS, I caught the "...but I didn't INHALE!" line. I was suddenly VERY enamored - and when I saw him on Arsenio Hall with his hat & shades, blowing a sax & rocking some blues, I thought he was the coolest politician alive! OF COURSE I knew he was lying - after all, it's not much good if you don't inhale - but... I could forgive that "little white lie!"
"THAT'S **EXACTLY** what this country needs - a POTUS who knows how to rock & roll, and who's actually done some bong-hits! He's JUST LIKE ME!"G*D I was STUPID!
By the time he was up for reelection I'd grown up/wised up a good bit - Fatherhood will do that to you - but that wasn't the MAIN reason...
I met this woman in a bar, and my daughter was born exactly 10 months and 2 days later. She already had two kids, and their father was apparently a real psycho. He threatened our lives - very plainly and explicitly:
"One of these nights, you're going to wake up and find me standing at the foot of your bed. Don't worry - I'll make sure you get to hear me say goodbye and look me in the eye when I blow your f***ing brains out!"
For the first time in my life, I felt like I needed a handgun, so - full of my high-school notions of "LAND OF THE FREE!" and "...SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED!" - I went to buy one.
The nice man at the gun store informed me that my state had a mandatory 10-day waiting-period, but it was taking the cops more like 4-6 weeks to process the paperwork.
He'd be HAPPY to sell me a gun, but I needed to understand that it might be a month or month-and-a-half before I could take it home!
I truly thought he was lying to me, so I went down the road to a pawn-shop that also sold guns, and got the same story there.
I was DUMBFOUNDED - but not nearly so much as I would be!
As I was leaving the pawn-shop, a young man followed me out of the store, and quietly informed me that if I really needed a handgun he had one he'd sell me!
This might be a good time to paraphrase our _resident and point out that "If I had a gang-banger/illegal gun-dealer, he'd look like Trayvon Martin" - but I digress...
This nice young gentleman guided me to his car, satisfied himself that I wasn't a cop, then opened the trunk and showed me a selection of a half-dozen or so handguns. I was enamored of a .44-mag revolver, and though his price was a bit high I would at least be able to SLEEP AT NIGHT knowing I wasn't completely defenseless!
Then it hit me...
See, I wasn't planning on robbing a liquor store, pulling a drive-by, or "bustin' a cap in a muh-fugguh's @$$" then throwing it in the river -- I was facing a strong likelihood of being forced to defend myself IN MY OWN HOME.
I had a brief, literal vision of myself trying to explain to the cops how it was that this gun I'd just used to help this sicko assume room-temperature and ruin my carpet, just happened to be a ballistic-match to a gun that had been used in a half-dozen murders!
"So..." I asked naively - "Will you give me a receipt?"
"F**k NO, MAN!" young Trayvon said, before he slammed the trunk, hopped in his car and drove away!
THAT'S when it hit me:
CRIMINALS ARE NOT AFFECTED BY GUN-CONTROL LAWS - THEY ONLY SERVE TO DISARM THE LAW-ABIDING!I wish I could say "In that moment, I became a conservative" - but that would be a lie. It took a bit more experience for me to get there...
I was working like a dog - two jobs to support my family and pay for night-school while others rode the welfare gravy-train - and that was part of it.
There were times when there wasn't enough FOOD to go around so I'd cook dinner then go upstairs while THEY ate... I eventually got tired of being hungry and gave in - which is when I learned that my kids' Mom was (aside from being rather seriously "disturbed") a full-time, professional welfare-queen who (despite my objections) milked "the system" and just about everyone else she came across.
There just isn't enough space on this blog for me to tell you all the scams this woman ran... Suffice to say that the few years I spent watching her make a full-time-job out of being a freeloader REALLY helped in my conversion to "conservative" as well!
Spending all my spare time on studying and homework - trying to better myself so I could make a better life for my kids - combined with the ongoing contact with my community-college "classmates" -- a bunch of ungrateful mooches who couldn't be bothered to study then accused the instructors of "racism" because "the white boy's gettin' As while you give US Ds!" - and the flat-out ABUSE they heaped on me for "blowing the curve" was an even larger part.
A REALLY HUGE factor was when several years of hard work - still spending all my spare time on self-education - finally paid off and I first doubled my income then doubled it again, only to see most of the increase disappear to increased taxation.
When I considered how many millions of people out there were just like my Ex - perfectly able-bodied but preferred to make a full-time-job out of freeloading - I was PISSED!
The straw that finally broke the camel's back was my eventual - INEVITABLE - divorce.
Anyone who's ever seen a good man get abused by a vindictive woman and the F_m_l_ court system (supposed to be "Family" but really "FEMALE"!) knows my story - false claims of abuse, false arrests, false restraining orders... even eventually (when she realized she was losing) false accusations of molesting my kids...
It was during that whole, horrid experience that I first remember asking
"WHAT F***ING COUNTRY *IS* THIS!??!!"As I searched for answers to what was happening to me, I began to understand the importance of Fatherhood to a child's life. I knew INSTINCTIVELY - which is why I fought so hard to be allowed to uphold my responsibilities to my kids - but I never knew INTELLECTUALLY. As I became involved with the so-called "Fathers' Rights Movement" (which is really about a KID'S rights, IMHO!) and learned all the statistics, I was HORRIFIED!
Here, we KNOW that father-absent homes are to blame for damn near every ill that befalls our kids - even when controlling for every other possible factor such as race, poverty, etc - yet we have a "F_m_l_-Court System" that seems to exist solely to turn Fathers into every-other-weekend VISITORS and turns them into broke slaves in the process, rewarding vindictive women for robbing their children of the one thing most likely to protect them from drugs/dropouts/pregnancy/prison/and-on-and-on-and-on?!
It seemed as if every day I found myself a new reason to scream out
"WHAT F***ING COUNTRY *IS* THIS!??!!"I was eventually awarded sole legal custody of my kids, and settled in to FINALLY being allowed to fulfill my proper role in their lives - but found myself now doing battle with schools which seemed designed to produce good little idiots (with LOTS of un-earned self-esteem!) but did NOTHING to really educate. I saw the horrors of "No Child Left Behind" - which (as the Father of two highly-intelligent girls) I can assure you REALLY means "NO CHILD GETS AHEAD!"
I tried to go into business for myself, and applied for a loan from the "Small Business Administration." Being told I had to submit a "business plan" I again set about educating myself, and eventually turned in what the local "Director" told me was "The best business plan [he'd] seen in twenty years on this job." Unfortunately, he also had to inform me that there was no money for me.
Something about the way he said "...for you..." stuck in my ear, and I pressed him. He (VERY reluctantly) was eventually forced to admit that the only funds his "Small Business Administration" had available was designated "minority grant money."
"So... you're telling me that if I was 'a minority' I'd get this loan?"
"Well... No... - Actually, if you were 'a minority' you'd be able to get a GRANT."For those who may not get the distinction, "loans" must be repaid - with interest - but "GRANTS" are essentially GIFTS, and need never be repaid!
What ever happened to "equal protection under the law"?
What happened to "...judged by the content of their character - and not the color of their skin!"
Every time a "quota" is enforced, SOME qualified person didn't get a job/loan/grant/admission/promotion/etc BECAUSE OF THE COLOR OF THEIR SKIN.
I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT WE WERE TRYING TO GET *AWAY* FROM!
"WHAT F***ING COUNTRY *IS* THIS!??!!"
I've had many other experiences and situations over the years which further solidified my "conservative" position, but more and more every day it seems I find myself asking that same stupid question - and I've never yet managed to come up with a POSITIVE answer - only a "negative" one:
"It sure as HELL ain't Our Founders' Republic!"So... Here I am.
At this point, I'd say I'm best described by a slightly-modified phrase stolen from Andrew Wilkow:
"Individual Patriot first, (BIG-C) Constitutionalist second, and (small-c-small-l-small-r) conservative/libertarian/republican-slash-minarchist third..."I've seen enough to know that "The government which governs BEST is that which governs LEAST."
I've come to believe that Our Founders were Divinely inspired when they hammered out this system, and that those who have corrupted it deserve eternal torment. I say that because I've also come to understand that THIS REPUBLIC has done more to bring LIBERTY to the WHOLE WORLD than EVERYthing which came before - and it caused a true REVOLUTION in science and industry which bettered the lives of everyone on this PLANET!
I've come to know that there are truly EVIL people in the world who manipulate the lazy and ignorant to support their plan to DESTROY this Republic, because at this point it is the only thing standing in the way of their plans to dominate, rule and ENSLAVE the entire WORLD.
And we're just about there...