Counter-offer: Why don't you s*** my d***!

I stumbled over this story this morning and thought it likely that the sort of folks who read my scribblings might have some interesting things to say about it...

I'm of mixed feelings myself - while I certainly can understand her frustration, and I'm SURE we've all been in a position at some point where we'd have *LOVED* to send such a response, I think in the long run that it will prove to be a big mistake.

ESPECIALLY for her, since it went viral!

OTOH, You really never know WHAT might happen when you take a risk like that!

All this reminded me of something that happened to me more than half a lifetime ago, when a very similar response turned out to be the best thing I could have done...

On my 21st birthday I was thousands of miles from home, in a strange place, and just a bit depressed. I went out alone. I spotted a girl who was "chair-dancing" and - after a couple of shots of liquid courage, and some prolonged eye-contact, I finally worked up the nerve to cross the room and ask her if she'd like to do her dancing on the actual dance-floor.

She gave me that snooty crown-of-the-head-to-the-tip-of-the-toes-and-back-again appraisal that only a truly bitchy woman can deliver, wrinkled up her nose and (shaking her head) said "Naaaaaah."

Now, I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but I'm also far from the ugliest. I take good care of myself, and have always been clean and reasonably well-groomed. I was already (as I mentioned) a bit depressed, and her snotty rejection just didn't sit well at all - especially since it had been delivered in such an obvious way in front of several of her friends as well...

Desperate to save a little face, I tried a line that had usually worked pretty well for me in the past - "I didn't ask you to go home with me, or marry me or whatever - I just asked you to DANCE. You're doing great in the chair - why not take it to the dance floor?"

She gave me the same full-length appraisal again - the sort of look-over one usually sees from ranchers examining cattle at an auction - only slower and even nastier the second time... Then she wrinkled up her nose again and said

"Well... I'll dance with you if you buy me a drink first..." - holding up and shaking her nearly-empty frozen-daquiri glass in my direction for emphasis.

Like the young woman who was the subject of this little missive, I'd had enough.

This biatch thinks a dance with her is worth the $5 that drink will cost me? (In 1988 $5 was... well... quite a bit more than it is now - in fact that was at least an hour's worth of pay for me!

So.... I let my temper get the best of me.

I said

"OOOOooooohhh!
I'm sorry!
I didn't really understand!..."!

If THAT'S the way it is, why don't we just save each other some time!...

"I'll slip you a twenty...

And you can climb under the table here and suck my c*ck!"

Now, I realize this was not even close to the way a "Gentleman" would treat a "Lady."

In my defense...

1. I was no "gentleman"
2. She was SURELY no "Lady"!

Seriously -- I am not the one who put the dollar-value to her attentions - she was!

Even now it seems reasonable to me - after all, if $5 is the price of a dance, then $20 ought to be in the ball-park for that sort of "favor" -- no?

In any case, I digress... and should get back to my story...

I'm sure it will come as no surprise that she slapped me - to which I replied

"Damn!

I'm Sorry!...

...What... -- ...

...twenty-FIVE?..."

Suffice to say that it's an understatement when I say that 'da biatch went **OFF**!!

In fact, she slapped me again, so hard that the band stopped playing, then waded into me like a wildcat, and almost instantaneously a couple of very large (you know the sort - 9-foot-two, one eye in the middle of their foreheads...) guys in matching tee-shirts hurried over and
... well...
...let's say "gave me some significant encouragement and assistance in exiting the establishment..."

But that's NOT the end of my tale!

Believe it or not, this one actually... well... You'll see!

After finding myself back on the street, I moved away from the doorway, leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette (hey - it was the '80s - don't judge me!) when I heard a female voice say

"Oh, THERE you are! That was fricking AWESOME!..."

I looked in the direction of the voice, and... it was one of the friends of Miss Biatchy, actually the best looking gal at the table(!), who continued

"...She is SUCH a biatch - I can't believe you put her in her place like that - I think that was the coolest thing I've ever SEEN!"

Well... Long story less long, I told her the truth - it was my birthday, far from home, a bit depressed, not normally the type to talk to ladies in that way but...

She explained that her (not really much of a) "friend" was a truly biatchy creature - the sort who treated pretty much every guy as she had treated me. Further, she'd only dance with the guys who were willing to buy her an expensive drink FIRST...

In short, she was already pretty much a prostitute - I was just the first guy who actually had the nerve to point out the obvious!

We talked for a bit, then she offered to take me down the road to a much better club - where we danced and drank until it was time to catch a cab back to her place for what turned out to be a *VERY* enjoyable weekend!

And... that weekend turned into a kinda-sorta-semi-relationship that lasted over a year, and got me through a pretty tough period...  I still think of her fondly, especially in times when I find myself wondering "what might have been"...

(Janet - if you should by some miracle read this, I'd like you to know that I still think of you fondly - and that little "shooting star" tattoo on the back of your shoulder is STILL both (a) one of the sexiest things I've ever seen, and (b) the ONLY tattoo I've ever found really attractive on ANY woman... And... you deserved better than you got from me - I wish I'd been able to be someone different at the time...)

I hadn't thought of (much less TOLD) that whole story in a long time, but...

I guess my point is that occasionally, asking someone to do what this gal and I both did can actually pay off in a big way!

I hope it turns out as well for her as it did for me long ago - but all-in-all I really can't recommend such a response to anyone...

It's still far more likely to turn out badly than it is to turn out well...

This made me smile...

Yeah - I'm jaded.

Twisted, even. I know I'm not supposed to rejoice at such things -- but this just warms the cockles of my black little heart.

Good guys 1, dumb-ass robber 0 -- but hey -- at least the thug got to die on his feet!

Chinese Commu-crats (Demmunists?) To Call For Knife-Ban In 5...4...3...

Ticked-off Chi-Teen kills 9 with a knife...

Click here for TFA from Yahoo! News...

I'm SURE they'll be calling for nationwide knife-bans any minute now...

Ayoob spells it out... PERFECTLY.

Mas Ayoob explains "Stand Your Ground" in a manner which any person with an IQ somewhere north of "Idiot" should be able to comprehend.

If you need to help a moron understand why the treatment of Jorge Zimmerman is a pure travesty of justice, point them to this video.

Intelligent comments welcome.

Blind, racist buffoonery will be soundly mocked.

NOTE: WATCH THE **LONG** VERSION!

LET'S ALL KILL THE CHILD MOLESTER!

So... If you haven't heard by now, Jorge Zimmerman has now been labeled a "Child Molester".

It seems he'd abused a Cousin since she was SIX YEARS OLD(!) and continued for OVER TEN YEARS!

All over the 'net, the kool-aide drinkers are damn near gleeful in their condemnation of this evil, sick man.

As usual, most of them are apparently incapable of mumbling through reading anything except the lurid headlines...

The reality is that this supposed "abuse" is alleged by his (apparently female) cousin. She claims that he "began molesting her" when she was 6.  These allegations match the "rumors."

The whole thing - as usual with this case - breaks down however when you look at the FACTS.

When she was six, he was SEVEN - though most online articles say something like "almost 8."  The bottom line is that he's less than 2 years older than her.

So what we REALLY have here is a case of a 7 year old boy playing "Doctor" with a 6 year old cousin.

UNDOUBTEDLY this PROVES that he's guilty of MURDER in "the Passion of Saint Skittles" drama (pause while I roll my eyes and hope they don't get stuck that way...)

Look, if playing "show me yours/I'll show you mine" - or even "You touch mine and I'll touch yours" when we were 6 or 7 makes us "MOLESTORS" then... well... I'm GUILTY! - and so are most everyone else!

The woman goes on to claim that this continued at "family gatherings" until she was 16 and he was "almost 18" (there we go again) -- ie: 17.  Yeah - that's beyond the "show me yours" game but...  Are we REALLY supposed to believe that this girl was somehow so intimidated by this cousin that she only saw at family-gatherings once or twice a year, that she suffered in silence for over 10 years and even accepted it at age 16?

I suppose those who still think Saint Skittles was a doe-eyed 12 year old and Jorge Zimmerman was a 250# bouncer might fall for that, but the rest of us have actually SEEN him. He's about as intimidating as a kitten, and actually less since he lacks their little razor-claws and needle-teeth.

We're supposed to believe that she HATED the "abuse" he heaped upon her, but never took the opportunity in the 6-12 month intervals between when she saw him at the aforementioned "family gatherings" to say "Mom, Dad, cousin Jorge touches my private-parts and I really don't like it."?

Really?

Apparently, in reality, what we have here is a woman who has some significant mental issues, and is unable to face her role in an incestuous "relationship" that went on a time or two a year for about 10 years.

Kinky? Sure.

Relevant? Not even close.

This "testimony" will never see the light of day in a courtroom, and is ultimately nothing more than another example proving just how desperate the "persecution" has become. They have *NOTHING* to refute his claim of self-defense, *NOTHING* to refute the fact that Martin confronted and attacked Zimmerman.

ALL they have is the ability to stir up the emotions of the ghetto-set, and to smear his reputation among those too biased, lazy or stupid to read past a headline and see that - once again - they're being misled.

Funny how nobody wonders if - given his "altar-boy" childhood, Jorge was a victim of a REAL molester - but then that would require them to see him as human, and not the monstrous bogey-man they need to avoid facing the fact that "Saint Skittles" was a 6'3" THUG who earned for himself the box he wound up in.

What's most disgusting about this is that it's patently obvious that this is a move born of desperation and malice.

Zimmerman has (Rightly, IMHO) filed a motion to disqualify Lester on the basis of bias. He's pretty much guaranteed to be out of this case, and a new judge will be appointed.

Among the first duties of the new judge will be to review the case, especially any recent rulings Lester made. There's no doubt in my mind that any unbiased judge would have granted the Defense motion to "quash" this "statement" as it has **ZERO** value as evidence in the case, and is nothing more than a character smear against Jorge Zimmerman.

Knowing that a new judge would not allow them to release this filth to the media, the persecution hurried up and got it out there before the door closed and they were prevented from doing so.

In a case that's been characterized from the beginning as a disgusting miscarriage of Justice, this is perhaps the sleaziest, most despicable thing the persecution has pulled so far -- and that distinction really means something in the context of this reprehensible travesty.

Make no  mistake: This "persecution" team will stop at NOTHING to ruin Jorge Zimmerman - though they know they have no legal case against him, they'll still do all they can to ruin his reputation and his life for the simple reason that he had the unmitigated audacity to defend himself against a member of an Officially-Sanctioned-Victim-Group.

For the crime of "riling up the black-folks" he must be burned at the stake.

That roaring sound you hear is our ancestors - all spinning in their graves...

God help us - and GOD SAVE OUR REPUBLIC!!

The 10 Greatest Mechanical Inventions Of All Time!

Got this in e-mail from a friend, and DEFINITELY had to share...

Minor editing by me, minor language / adult scenario alert, basically "PG-13"...

Anyhow, I wonder if you agree...

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The 10 Greatest Mechanical Inventions Of All Time!

10: Boxter Engine: allows cylinders to operate in "opposed" configuration, making engine much lower profile. Subject to torque vagaries, as anyone who's ever ridded a nineteen-sixties vintage BMW Motorcycle can attest!

9: Naval gun loading system - allows rapid fire with minimal risk of explosion, and mechanizes much of the process. The pinnacle of Naval "Projectile" warfare!
(note - if this looks wrong, then click to enlarge - it's a really cool animation!

8. Oval Regulation - I'm drawing a blank on what it's used for, but you've got toadmit it's pretty damn cool! I welcome any of you Mech-Eng types who want to fill us in!

7. Malta Cross movement - this is what finally made reasonably accurate mechanical clocks a reality!

 6. Sewing Machine - seems simple here, but what it did to free the average housewife is beyond discussion! Further, the mechanisms that keep it all working properly, under proper tension, are incredibly complex!  This is the most basic explanation of how the sewing-machine works:

5. Radial Aircraft Engine - the pinnacle of piston-driven aircraft propulsion!

4. Multi-speed automotive transmission: Made the "horseless carriage" revolutionize the world!

3. Rotary Engine - can rev faster and higher than a piston engine, and with fewer moving parts SHOULD be more durable. Anyone who ever had the chance to drive an old-school Mazda can tell you how much fun they are, anyone who ever had to work on one can tell you that the implementation didn't match the theory!

2. Constant-Velocity ("C-V") Joint - made front-wheel-drive cars possible and revolutionized the automotive industry! (also made it possible for most females to drive without killing themselves)!

And finally, we come to Number One!

*SPECTACULAR* MEAL - AND PRETTY EASY TOO!

I just made this for dinner:

Cilantro-Lime Chicken with Avocado Salsa

Note:Not my pic!

It didn't last long enough for the camera to turn on!

Without hyperbole, I tell you that this was the best meal I've had in recent memory!

Don't mess around - find yourself some good "Saffron Rice" to go with it as recommended!

I couldn't find anything labeled "Saffron Rice" in my grocery, but they had several brands of "yellow rice" which had saffron among the spices. I used "Mahatma" brand "yellow rice" - the balance of flavors was HEAVENLY!

Watch out though - my rice came out a bit gummy - any more and it would have been bad but I managed to salvage it by taking off the lid and letting it stand and dry out for a bit...

I doubled the marinade and salsa recipe for me, Wifey and 2 mostly-grown daughters (18 & 21) but stuck to the 4 boneless/skinless breasts. This gave us a nice large scoop of salsa to go with each plate.

We chopped our salsa ingredients MUCH finer than is shown in this picture. The onion was truly MINCED, and the tomato/avocado were maybe 1/8" cubes.

In addition to the recipe ingredients, I added the juice of 1/2 a fresh lime to the salsa, squeezing it over the top before putting it in the 'fridge to chill while I cooked the chicken.

I also placed a 1/8 lime-wedge (1/4 of the remaining 1/2) on each plate when I served it. Squeezing that fresh lime on the smoky grilled cilantro/lime chicken really set off the flavors perfectly!

If you're like me, and raw onion is like a nuke-device in your belly, I strongly recommend using REAL vidalia sweets - they don't bother me nearly as badly for some reason... Still, I'll suffer punishment for eating this but... MAN WAS IT EVER GOOD!! Definitely worth at least one cramp per bite!

My 18 year old - who suffers from a possibly terminal case of "Senior-itis"* and has nothing nice to say, ever - was even bubbling and raving about how good it was. That alone was worth the minimal effort required.

Next time I'll likely try using a "cilantro paste" I found in the "international foods" section - mincing cilantro is a pain in the butt... That said, don't cheat on anything else - it was the FRESH ingredients that made it so spectacular!

5 stars - can't recommend it strongly enough!!

*"Senior-itis": That affliction suffered by nearly all 18 year olds. It causes them to think they know it all, to think they're "all grown up" and should be "FREE" (despite the fact that they still pay no bills at all and barely buy clothes to cover their own @$$) - and that their parents are doddering fools whose only mission in life is to embarrass and harass them.

Having now lived through 4 cases of Senior-Itis, I can tell you from personal knowledge that:

(1) This is why animals eat their young.
(2) This is why G*d makes babies cute - so you won't kill them when they're teenagers.
(3) This too shall pass. If they survive their early college years, they'll eventually figure out that you're not as dumb as they thought. If you're lucky, they'll eventually figure things out and once again pay you the respect you deserve.
It's very satisfying to have your 21 year old call for advice - or better yet "just to talk."